Evening and morning and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, and He shall hear my voice. -Psalm 55:17
I apologize for posting so late in the day. It has indeed been a long day and I needed some time to gather my thoughts before I sat down to write. It is the weekend anyway and most of you won't think to check in. This morning was appropriately gray. All week it has been spectacular. The Ukrainian flag is blue and yellow and I have thought that if you held the flag up to the sky, the blue would melt into it. It is the exact same color. But today, there was only grayness and rain. Larisa met me early and we walked down to the square to look at the souvenir stands. Maxim loaded my suitcases into the car, but I was careful to separate some things for Christina's group for orphanage #4. I knew they would be cooped up all day in that little playroom. I pulled out some wind up cars, coloring books, a jump rope, a few stuffed animals, and the bubble maker.
Indeed the children were all cooped up in their room when I arrived. When Larisa told their teacher that I have some gifts for the class, a hush fell over the children. She passed out the treasures from the bags I had brought in and the children ooh'ed and ahh'ed at the items. It was interesting to note that even if a child reached out for a toy, he or she did not "claim" it. It was eventually passed from child to child and all the child held ownership over the gifts. They were so excited and I was covered in a flurry of kisses and "Thank you"'s in broken English. We stayed for awhile to watch the children giggle and play. I took lots of pictures for you to see the joy that your gifts have brought to this handfull of kids.
Larissa suggested that we go have lunch with Christina since it was my last day. I asked her if she would like to invite a friend and she thought for a moment and said "Roman". Sweet and quiet Roman lit up momentarily at the invitation and then there was a rush of activity as they both found shoes and coats. I was so happy that Christina chose Roman to go with us. Roman is a head taller than everyone in Christina's 3rd grade class. This is because he is 13 years old. Roman has a just as incredible of a story as all of these children. The children are ready to go and Larissa asks Roman where his jacket is. He replies that he doesn't have one. The best he can do is layer the few shirts he has in his locker. I tell Larissa that we will shop for Roman today and find him a jacket.
We decide to go back to the TTT and take the kids ice skating. The rink is so odd. There is some material on the ground that has the same effect as ice, but it is not cold. I pay at the counter ($5 for 2 kids) and they find skates that fit. I laugh as I watch them whirl around the rink. Its as if they have done this every day of their lives. I ask if they have been before and they say maybe, they don't remember. I ask if they are hungry and they say "nyet". I look surprised as it is almost lunch time and I ask again. This time Roman bows his head and says "da". So we return to the cafe on the top floor. I tell them to choose whatever they want, they can bring the leftovers to the orphanage for later. Christina is concerned about me spending money, but Larisa tells her it is okay. They load up their plates and choose two desserts. We sit down and I watch the two of them smile, and laugh, and eat. I reflect on the joy of giving and am reminded that today I am feeding and clothing Christ because I have done this "for the least of these".
Time passes more quickly that we anticipate and I realize that we need to head out to the airport. I leave money for Roman to pick out a jacket, pants, and a shirt (things he finally confessed to needing after much interrogation). Oh and Kim, I gave him the backpack from your office and he was so happy! He kept saying in broken English, "Thank you. I am so grateful." On the way out I see a stand of slippers and I think how cold the halls were this morning. I tell Christina to pick out a pair. In true Patti Shivers' style, she chooses a pink pair with feathered fur on the toes. I took a picture for you, Diva.
Roman, Christina, and I squish into the backseat of Maxim's car and I purposely try to distract myself from the direction that we are heading. Christina and I practice saying the colors in English and Ukrainian. She looks up and asks Larisa, "where are we going?". Larisa replies and she places her head against my shoulder. I can tell that she is trying to be as brave as I am in this moment. She says that she would like to sing a song that she learned at Christmas. She sings the words in English about Mary, Joseph, and the baby and I am brought to tears. When she looks up and asks why I am crying, I lie and tell her it is because her singing is so beautiful. She knows better though and a tear rolls down her check as she wraps her arm through mine. We ride the final distance to the airport and I try to think of things that will take my mind off things: passport control, customs, transferring planes. I am determined not to cry so as not to upset her.
We arrive at the airport and Dr R and Oksana are waiting for us. He tries to give me the run down on what to expect when I get to the Austrian International Airport for my layover, but his words wash over me and I cannot focus on what he is saying. The time has come and I must pass through a set of frosted glass doors to pass through customs and on to the ticket counter. I say my goodbyes ungracefully as hot tears flow over my burning cheeks. I hug and thank everyone and stoop to tell Christina that I will write to her and not to be sad. She whispers in English, "I will miss you, Leslie. I love you." She is composed like a little soldier as only a few tears stream down her face. It is more than I can take and I sob at the thought of leaving her behind. I fear that she thinks I am abandoning her as others in her life have. I tell her to practice her English and to be a good girl. I promise her that we will see each other again although I don't know when or how. I take the first heavy steps away from her and pass through the frosted glass doors. Larisa holds the door open so that she can watch me for a few moments longer. I am loading my suitcase through the x-ray machine blindly and I hear her little voice. She has followed me through the doors and is freely crying now. Her arms wrap around my waist and I kiss her over and over again on her head. I make her more promises of reunion and try to smile. Dr R is shocked that the guards have not stopped her but allow her to say a final goodbye. The group heads back through the doors and I walk ahead. It is like a death to me now. I think of what a fool I must look like to the other passengers standing in line. I try my best to not look behind me for fear that I will see her peering through the doors again. I manage to make it to the ticket counter, another security point, and onto plane. I take out a book in hopes of taking my mind off of things, but the words only blur through my tears and I find myself re-reading the same paragraph over and over. I am my father's daughter and this is not behavior I am accustomed to. I try to rationalize my emotions in order to regain order. As the plane's engine starts and we taxi down the runway, I am thankful to be the only one in my row. I turn my head towards the window and we begin our sprint down the runway. As the plane leaves the ground, the force pushes me into my seat and I feel a tearing sensation as we lose contact with the ground. A last great sigh leaved my heart and I feel a strange and numb peace that I can only explain as the presence of God. I force myself not to think of things for the one hour flight into Vienna, Austria.
We arrive in Vienna safely and I hurry to be one of the first off the Ukrainian Airlines plane that is my last physical contact with Odessa. I go through immigration and search for the counter that will have my hotel voucher for the night. I am in a great city celebrating its 250th birthday of Mozart, yet I know I will not have the energy to explore beyond my room. I find the counter and the man says there is no reservation for me. The thought of spending the night in the airport is unappealing, but I am thankful for the issue at hand that has diverted my attentions. The agent e-mails the States to search for the reservation and finds it a short while later. He hands me my voucher and apologizes profusely for the delay. He says he has upgraded me to the hotel across the street for my troubles. I am grateful that I will not need to find the tram and then bus that will take me to my original hotel some miles away from the airport. I walk outside and a sprawling hotel is right across the street. I walk through the sliding glass doors and step onto marble floors. There is a grand piano and crystal chandelier in the great foyer. He has put me in a four star hotel. The receptionist processes my info and I am given my key. The room is a suite with French provincial furniture and a huge bathroom. I settle onto the bed and flip the television on hoping for something in English that can distract me. It looks like MTV is my only option. I text message Robert to let him know that I have arrived safely and he tells me that he is at Gatorland with the children. I have sent him a picture of Christina and ask if he received it. He says he has and that she looks nice. He says he has spoken to a dear friend of ours that has shared that he and his wife are adopting. The news makes me happy and I wrap myself in the down comforter at the foot of the bed and fall into a deep sleep. I woke a little while ago and knew that I would need to come downstairs to the computers and write a little something to capture my thoughts. The tears have returned as I reflect on the day. I hope that Christina is distracted by the teddy bear I have left with her (I hope it's okay, Kara). I hope that she finds I have written in the cover of her coloring book that she is loved by me and God and that it brings her some comfort.
What a journey this has been. I have never traveled alone in my life and I know that you all have been with me for the past 7 days. At every step you have encouraged me and made me laugh with you comments. I can not tell you how incredibly blessed I am to have you in my life. Thank you for allowing me to go. In many ways you were here in Ukraine this week, holding the babies as I held them and whispering blessings over the children with me. Your faith has been a testimony to me of the goodness of our Lord.
Those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness. -Proverbs 14:22
I apologize for posting so late in the day. It has indeed been a long day and I needed some time to gather my thoughts before I sat down to write. It is the weekend anyway and most of you won't think to check in. This morning was appropriately gray. All week it has been spectacular. The Ukrainian flag is blue and yellow and I have thought that if you held the flag up to the sky, the blue would melt into it. It is the exact same color. But today, there was only grayness and rain. Larisa met me early and we walked down to the square to look at the souvenir stands. Maxim loaded my suitcases into the car, but I was careful to separate some things for Christina's group for orphanage #4. I knew they would be cooped up all day in that little playroom. I pulled out some wind up cars, coloring books, a jump rope, a few stuffed animals, and the bubble maker.
Indeed the children were all cooped up in their room when I arrived. When Larisa told their teacher that I have some gifts for the class, a hush fell over the children. She passed out the treasures from the bags I had brought in and the children ooh'ed and ahh'ed at the items. It was interesting to note that even if a child reached out for a toy, he or she did not "claim" it. It was eventually passed from child to child and all the child held ownership over the gifts. They were so excited and I was covered in a flurry of kisses and "Thank you"'s in broken English. We stayed for awhile to watch the children giggle and play. I took lots of pictures for you to see the joy that your gifts have brought to this handfull of kids.
Larissa suggested that we go have lunch with Christina since it was my last day. I asked her if she would like to invite a friend and she thought for a moment and said "Roman". Sweet and quiet Roman lit up momentarily at the invitation and then there was a rush of activity as they both found shoes and coats. I was so happy that Christina chose Roman to go with us. Roman is a head taller than everyone in Christina's 3rd grade class. This is because he is 13 years old. Roman has a just as incredible of a story as all of these children. The children are ready to go and Larissa asks Roman where his jacket is. He replies that he doesn't have one. The best he can do is layer the few shirts he has in his locker. I tell Larissa that we will shop for Roman today and find him a jacket.
We decide to go back to the TTT and take the kids ice skating. The rink is so odd. There is some material on the ground that has the same effect as ice, but it is not cold. I pay at the counter ($5 for 2 kids) and they find skates that fit. I laugh as I watch them whirl around the rink. Its as if they have done this every day of their lives. I ask if they have been before and they say maybe, they don't remember. I ask if they are hungry and they say "nyet". I look surprised as it is almost lunch time and I ask again. This time Roman bows his head and says "da". So we return to the cafe on the top floor. I tell them to choose whatever they want, they can bring the leftovers to the orphanage for later. Christina is concerned about me spending money, but Larisa tells her it is okay. They load up their plates and choose two desserts. We sit down and I watch the two of them smile, and laugh, and eat. I reflect on the joy of giving and am reminded that today I am feeding and clothing Christ because I have done this "for the least of these".
Time passes more quickly that we anticipate and I realize that we need to head out to the airport. I leave money for Roman to pick out a jacket, pants, and a shirt (things he finally confessed to needing after much interrogation). Oh and Kim, I gave him the backpack from your office and he was so happy! He kept saying in broken English, "Thank you. I am so grateful." On the way out I see a stand of slippers and I think how cold the halls were this morning. I tell Christina to pick out a pair. In true Patti Shivers' style, she chooses a pink pair with feathered fur on the toes. I took a picture for you, Diva.
Roman, Christina, and I squish into the backseat of Maxim's car and I purposely try to distract myself from the direction that we are heading. Christina and I practice saying the colors in English and Ukrainian. She looks up and asks Larisa, "where are we going?". Larisa replies and she places her head against my shoulder. I can tell that she is trying to be as brave as I am in this moment. She says that she would like to sing a song that she learned at Christmas. She sings the words in English about Mary, Joseph, and the baby and I am brought to tears. When she looks up and asks why I am crying, I lie and tell her it is because her singing is so beautiful. She knows better though and a tear rolls down her check as she wraps her arm through mine. We ride the final distance to the airport and I try to think of things that will take my mind off things: passport control, customs, transferring planes. I am determined not to cry so as not to upset her.
We arrive at the airport and Dr R and Oksana are waiting for us. He tries to give me the run down on what to expect when I get to the Austrian International Airport for my layover, but his words wash over me and I cannot focus on what he is saying. The time has come and I must pass through a set of frosted glass doors to pass through customs and on to the ticket counter. I say my goodbyes ungracefully as hot tears flow over my burning cheeks. I hug and thank everyone and stoop to tell Christina that I will write to her and not to be sad. She whispers in English, "I will miss you, Leslie. I love you." She is composed like a little soldier as only a few tears stream down her face. It is more than I can take and I sob at the thought of leaving her behind. I fear that she thinks I am abandoning her as others in her life have. I tell her to practice her English and to be a good girl. I promise her that we will see each other again although I don't know when or how. I take the first heavy steps away from her and pass through the frosted glass doors. Larisa holds the door open so that she can watch me for a few moments longer. I am loading my suitcase through the x-ray machine blindly and I hear her little voice. She has followed me through the doors and is freely crying now. Her arms wrap around my waist and I kiss her over and over again on her head. I make her more promises of reunion and try to smile. Dr R is shocked that the guards have not stopped her but allow her to say a final goodbye. The group heads back through the doors and I walk ahead. It is like a death to me now. I think of what a fool I must look like to the other passengers standing in line. I try my best to not look behind me for fear that I will see her peering through the doors again. I manage to make it to the ticket counter, another security point, and onto plane. I take out a book in hopes of taking my mind off of things, but the words only blur through my tears and I find myself re-reading the same paragraph over and over. I am my father's daughter and this is not behavior I am accustomed to. I try to rationalize my emotions in order to regain order. As the plane's engine starts and we taxi down the runway, I am thankful to be the only one in my row. I turn my head towards the window and we begin our sprint down the runway. As the plane leaves the ground, the force pushes me into my seat and I feel a tearing sensation as we lose contact with the ground. A last great sigh leaved my heart and I feel a strange and numb peace that I can only explain as the presence of God. I force myself not to think of things for the one hour flight into Vienna, Austria.
We arrive in Vienna safely and I hurry to be one of the first off the Ukrainian Airlines plane that is my last physical contact with Odessa. I go through immigration and search for the counter that will have my hotel voucher for the night. I am in a great city celebrating its 250th birthday of Mozart, yet I know I will not have the energy to explore beyond my room. I find the counter and the man says there is no reservation for me. The thought of spending the night in the airport is unappealing, but I am thankful for the issue at hand that has diverted my attentions. The agent e-mails the States to search for the reservation and finds it a short while later. He hands me my voucher and apologizes profusely for the delay. He says he has upgraded me to the hotel across the street for my troubles. I am grateful that I will not need to find the tram and then bus that will take me to my original hotel some miles away from the airport. I walk outside and a sprawling hotel is right across the street. I walk through the sliding glass doors and step onto marble floors. There is a grand piano and crystal chandelier in the great foyer. He has put me in a four star hotel. The receptionist processes my info and I am given my key. The room is a suite with French provincial furniture and a huge bathroom. I settle onto the bed and flip the television on hoping for something in English that can distract me. It looks like MTV is my only option. I text message Robert to let him know that I have arrived safely and he tells me that he is at Gatorland with the children. I have sent him a picture of Christina and ask if he received it. He says he has and that she looks nice. He says he has spoken to a dear friend of ours that has shared that he and his wife are adopting. The news makes me happy and I wrap myself in the down comforter at the foot of the bed and fall into a deep sleep. I woke a little while ago and knew that I would need to come downstairs to the computers and write a little something to capture my thoughts. The tears have returned as I reflect on the day. I hope that Christina is distracted by the teddy bear I have left with her (I hope it's okay, Kara). I hope that she finds I have written in the cover of her coloring book that she is loved by me and God and that it brings her some comfort.
What a journey this has been. I have never traveled alone in my life and I know that you all have been with me for the past 7 days. At every step you have encouraged me and made me laugh with you comments. I can not tell you how incredibly blessed I am to have you in my life. Thank you for allowing me to go. In many ways you were here in Ukraine this week, holding the babies as I held them and whispering blessings over the children with me. Your faith has been a testimony to me of the goodness of our Lord.
Those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness. -Proverbs 14:22
posted by Leslie at 3:20 PM
6 Comments:
omg mrs. landrum i started to cry reading ur story!! omgs that is soo sad!! i always cry when i leave somewere!! wow u were in the right place at the right time i know that!!wow i wuld love tooo meet christina!! she sounds sooo sweet!! ahh these stories were so touching!! your inspiring me to want to go visit ukrain and help the children!!
we cant wait to see you monday and hear all your stories!! ur such a great hero!! love ya mrs. landrum!! and i hope my stuffed dogs made it to one of the kids!! cant wait to see you!!
~sara
Hey Mrs. Landrum its me Jane. Ok so you made me cry a second time just reading like the first sentence, JKK! Mrs. Landrum i know and am praying that Christina will come and be with you again. You guys will reunite dont worry i think everyone at school will make sure of that. Mrs. Landrum i hope your flight is good and you stay safe! Remember God says "For i know the plans i have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give hope and a future." I know that might not be the exact words but i know its true. Mrs. Landrum I love ya lots, and cant wait to see you. I hope nobody got hurt iceskating like Phil did! LOL!! See ya later! Jane
yup like everyone else i was brought to tears! i pray that things work out with you seeing christina again and finding a home for her... i know they will...it is in His hands. you've not only touched lives in the ukraine but also right back here at home!! you are awsome mrs landrum!!! i know how its so hard to leave but selfishly im glad you coming home :) see you soon!
much love,
blair
Mo, Its mom, I am crying as I write this. I know how hard this is for you but just remember the joy and love you have brought to these wonderful children. Be strong and safe. I can't wait for you to come home. I love you
Know what hit me...? I kept thinking that when you got to the hotel in Vienna that Christina would be there in the hotel waiting for you...just like in a movie. That by some incredible situation, she would be able to be there for you to take home with you. Sadly, real life is not the movie.
But... have faith, you will see this precious child again...oh yes, she will be here for the summer1 ! i KNOW it in my bones! And then who knows what.
I cant wait to see you and hug you Leslie. This has truly been a journey for many and has moved many hearts.
If I were a betting woman, I would say that you will have the necessary money for darling Christina by the time school is over.
xooxox love you so much1 XOOX p
i'm not sure if i am more moved by what god did in you thru your trip or what i am reading from your students. it will be months before you really process the fullness of your trip....and you may never see the full extent to which god uses it. may he bless you and keep you may he make his face to shine upon you....may he comfort your heart as your mourn your departure and give you overflowing joy at your home coming. may you trust in him that he will provide for the lives that have so richly touched yours..... all my love - sweets
Post a Comment
<< Home